I slowly lowered my eyes as he spoke, my inner voice muting his words.
Could this be happening?
Did he just say that?
What is happening?
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, the look in his large dark eyes neither one of sympathy or courtesy, he was as real as I could read him to be. I felt numbness, it was too much to comprehend after 11 months of courting. I’d put all my hopes into the basket of building a life with him, shutting all doors on everyone, believing through all our misunderstanding that I was the least perfect person with all of the faults. There I was with no hope of what the next second would hold. I watched him leave, turning his back on all that we’d built.
I remember crying every other night, wetting my pillows with hopelessness – she had a pretty face and perfect body, I heard from his friend that they had been together some months before our break up. I smashed things and even hurt myself to let go of the pain. Molly would always let out a meow, comforting me with her fur. I found her across the street with a broken limb after being hit by a car, since then she has been a listening friend.
It was the first Saturday of the month that a call came through and confirmed he was getting married to the other woman that day. I felt paralyzed with sudden flashes of memory, I blacked out, hitting my head on the wooden cabinet behind me.
I opened my tired eyes to the steady beep of the ER machine, before I could speak I blacked out again. My hearing was numbed at first, I felt like I’d slept forever, with sharp striking headaches. “How long have I been here”, I managed to ask the figure examining my file.
“4 days”, he replied, smiling.
“I found you in a pool of blood, and rushed you to the hospital”, he added.
For the first time, I noticed he was the doctor. He explained to me how Molly was behaving weirdly, and how he had to follow her into the house.
I was discharged from the hospital a couple of days later, and had found a new love for this person, that seemed like forever. I warned my heart but it wouldn’t listen. I fell in love… again, and I still don’t know if that was the right thing to do.
~ Maryam Jimoh
GirlOnTheBus 